Nick Quote #891

Quote from Nick in Jury Duty

Schmidt: Great, we're in agreement. Now just sign here, and we'll give you a key.
Nick: Give her a key? [scoffs] I'm a little confused. Is that really necessary? It's like giving a squirrel a key to the park. The park is always open, and the squirrel is there with rabbit, and squirrel and rabbit are there all the time. So does squirrel need key?
Schmidt: What is happening? You're dropping all your articles.
Nick: I not!
Schmidt: Now you're losing verbs!
Winston: So, are the squirrel and the rabbit... they're friends?

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 ‘Jury Duty’ Quotes

Quote from Cece

Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.