Jess Quote #873
Quote from Jess in Walk of Shame
Woman: You ready?
Paul: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Jess: That's not Jenn.
Paul: [sighs] Nope. This is not my house, okay? This is not a daddy diaper bag. This is a bag of sadness. Because I am a party clown. [squeaks] I'm actually a musical party clown, okay? So no one's had a more shameful walk this morning than me. [squeaks]
Jess: What happened to Jenn?
Paul: Thanks for bringing that up. Salt in the wound. She left me. You know what I did last night? I'm gonna tell you. I masturbated to pornography that I had to draw on the back of an envelope. [Cece and Jess point to the mother]
Jess: [chuckles] He's great with kids.
Woman: Who are you?
Jess: I'm a Liza Minnelli impersonator. [sings] Ah...
New Girl Quotes
‘Walk of Shame’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: You ladies need to be very careful. Blow-out can give a woman too much confidence. Make them take on things that they can't handle. Hillary Clinton.
Quote from Jess
Jess: What are we gonna do?
Cece: My phone's dead.
Jess: My phone is dead, too.
Cece: I have no cash.
Jess: Now, what are we gonna do? Are we gonna walk?
Cece: My feet are wrecked, okay? And carrying shoes? That's legit walk of shame.
Jess: Please stop saying "walk of shame." Also "legit." Not crazy about that word, either. If that South African runner who killed his girlfriend can run with no legs, we can walk in heels.
Quote from Cece
Cece: All right. Confession. I did not sleep with Ken, either. Yeah, we started hooking up and then I called him... Schmidt.
Jess: That's okay. It happens.
Cece: Twice.
Jess: Whatever.
Cece: Four times.
Jess: Okay, that's bad.
Cece: I know, I felt so bad afterwards, I straightened up his room. I am a grown woman that is in love with her ex-boyfriend that has a girlfriend. And I've been stealing my neighbor's Wi-Fi. I mean, what have I become?