Coach Quote #160

Quote from Coach in Swuit

Winston: We got to do something.
Coach: Winston, for the first time in my life, I'm not 100% broke, and you want me to give my money away? No, sir. She said she didn't want charity. I ain't giving it to her. [off WIinston's look] Oh, crap. Am I stuck doing another thing with you again? It's a classic Winston and Coach mess-around!
Coach: All right. But don't say that.
Winston: What if I put your name first?
Coach: Let me hear it.
Winston: It's a classic Coach and Winston mess-around.
Coach: Regardless, I don't like it.

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Features in the collection: Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds.

‘Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds’

Quote from Winston in Secrets

Winston: All right, everybody stop! Wherever you are right now, just sit down! Okay, now, Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me! You, give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing. You, get out of my house!
Holly: Who are you?
Winston: Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.
Nick: Not true.
Winston: Dear lord, help me, Father! Get out of my house. Get out of my house!

Quote from Winston in Engram Pattersky

Winston: Gotcha! [laughs] Prank Sinatra, baby!
Cece: What?
Schmidt: I don't get it. The truck is the prank? What, did you pay the rental fee? Winston, that's just nice.
Winston: You didn't have to move.
Nick: Yes, we did have to move, you idiot. We got evicted.
Jess: What is he talking about?
Nick: I have no idea.
Winston: Engram Pattersky. If you rearrange those letters, what does it spell?
Jess: "My greatest prank."
Winston: My greatest prank!

 ‘Swuit’ Quotes

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: And time! All right. Let's see what you got. "I am the Karduthian champion of... of dance." "Beer bread."
Nick: Beard bread. Bread that is in your beard.
Schmidt: That's an... that's an invention? Or is that just something that happens to you? You think Hewlett had to put up with this crap from Packard? Again.
Nick: Oh, now I'm Packard? Enough!
Schmidt: You can't come up with a good idea being all loosey-goosey.
Nick: Why don't you tell that to Howard Hughes, the inventor of the Loose Goose?
Schmidt: That was the Spruce Goose, and it didn't work!
Nick: It did work! It flew for over a mile at an altitude of 72 feet!
Schmidt: How on Earth do you know that information and not know the name of it?

Quote from Winston

Winston: Hey, check it out. I'm a campus cutie.
Cece: No, you are not.
Winston: What are we learning?
Cece: Shh! I am studying Postwar British Art History.
Coach: What?
Winston: Post Br-British who? What's that?
Coach: That's just a bunch of words that mean "Screw you, investors." What else you taking?
Cece: Intro to Afrikaans.
Coach: What else? Astronomy 101?
Cece: That's next semester.
Coach: Wow.
Winston: What you gonna do, Cece, join the South African space program and be the first woman to put a David Hockney painting on the moon? Who is David Hockney?

Quote from Winston

Coach: This is an investment. Nick and Schmidt are looking for investors, so we thought it would be fun if we got into investing, too.
Coach: You're smart, you're driven. We are confident in a very robust ROI.
Winston: ROI means "Return on Investment."
Cece: I know what it stands for.
Winston: I've been reading a lot of Schmidt's investment books in the toilet. Life hack: the toilet paper makes for a very, very handy bookmark.
Coach: Life hack: read your phone on the toilet like everybody else.
Winston: Ooh.