Jess Quote #798
Jess: So they go to this bar in Chicago to get Winston laid...
Barry: And one of these guys is your ex?
Jess: Yeah, Nick.
Barry: Mm, the nicest thing I ever did for an ex is give him a ride to the airport. And for me, that's just going to work, and I still barely did it. [Jess laughs] Okay, please don't take this as a Christmas miracle. But what can I do to help? Do you want to fly first-class somewhere, like Pittsburgh? And then tell everyone you're a Latin pop star? I did that once, and it's kind of the perfect Christmas. You can pass as Latin.
Jess: Actually, you know what I'd love?
[cut to:]
Barry: [to Nick] Hope first class is okay. And don't freak out, but I think Paul Dano's on your flight. And don't thank me, thank her. But thank me also, because I'm the one that did it.
New Girl Quotes
‘LAXMas’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Cece: Okay.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.
Quote from Winston
Nick: You better learn how to ride a polo horse.
Winston: It's actually a polio horse. Uh, originally they were bred as helper horses for people with polio, but I don't think anything of what I just said was correct, so...
Quote from Nick
Nick: Why we should've taken trains. The sky's too fickle. It's the play place for butterflies.