Nick: When I came out, was it flashy? Was it emotional? Am I mad that Anderson Cooper doesn't fly the flag? Or for what he's doing in his own way-- is it even braver?
Jess: These are all really good questions, but I just can't get my mind off, like, why you dress this way. Why aren't you in better shape?
Nick: Don't put me in a box! There's nothing we gay men hate more than being put in a box.
Jess: Good.
Nick: Look, maybe I'm a bear, maybe I'm a twinkler.
Jess: That's not a category.
Nick: [loudly] I like rugby for the game and for the men. Now, if you excuse me, I got to go do that gay thing I was telling you about, because, of course, I'm gay as hell. [Jess laughs] Bye.
Jess: [whispers] That's not how gay men talk.
Nick: [whispers] I am shattering stereotypes.

Nick: Wonder what's taking, uh, Jess so long.
Ian: Well, you know women.
Nick: What's women? [laughs] Am I right?
Ian: "What's women?"
Nick: [chuckles] I just don't know them like you know them, is my point.
Ian: Uh-huh. Uh, so, what kind of guys do you like to date?
Nick: Me? All kinds. Yeah. Hunks. If I can get my, uh, paws on a hunk, I don't let go. Uh, ripped nerds. 'Cause they're smart but strong, I guess.
Ian: Uh-huh.
Nick: I like Spanish guys. Throw in a little, uh, hint of German in there, there's a perfect combo.
Ian: Okay.
Nick: Certain ice cream men, I guess. Carpet steamers. Sleepy guys. Uh, we in the gay community call them "drowsers."
Ian: Why would you like a sleepy guy?

Schmidt: All right, let me see the new. I accept it.
Cece: Again, it was just a consultation. And actually, I don't even know if I'm gonna go through with it.
Schmidt: You're still here. I saved you. I'm your Schindler. One day, your children are gonna put rocks on my grave.