Nick Quote #719
Jess: If I date him a month, then you will donate 500 bucks to the National Organization for Women's Love Your Body Campaign. And if you win, I will get you a subscription to the porn site of your choosing.
Nick: Really?
Jess: Yeah.
Winston: Nubile Nubian Butts.
Coach: We know, dude.
Schmidt: Shut up, Winston.
Nick: We're gonna go with Ass Chat.
Jess: Ass Chat? Come on, what is that... two butts talking to each other?
Nick: It's not butts talking to each other.
Schmidt: No, it's all a lot categories.
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.