Schmidt Quote #761
Schmidt: Now, you're on Dice and this hunk shows up.
Jess: Hubba hubba, mama in trubba.
Schmidt: Don't ever do that again.
Jess: Okay.
Schmidt: So you find this man. He looks like a Hemsworth, if you will. He swipes down, you swipe down, you guys set a date. I show up. Hey, how you doing? I'm Jack Steele.
Jess: Hi, Jack.
Schmidt: [buzzing] Wrong.
Jess: Is that our Taboo buzzer?
Schmidt: Not important. Why did I buzz?
Jess: Do you think you could just return it to the box when you're done?
Schmidt: The reason I buzzed is because I look nothing like this person. Look at this. There's a sun-kissed sweetie. I am a rugged Semitic prince.
Jess: I thought we were role playing.
Schmidt: Role playing? What about this feels like a game to you? [buzzing]
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.