Schmidt Quote #762
Jess: Ooh, I got a Dice match. Jacob. He has dreamy eyes. Them's joint bank account eyes.
Schmidt: Okay, if you're saying things like "dreamy eyes" to my face, we have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically.
Jess: Well, I have a good feeling about this guy.
Schmidt: Okay.
Jess: I'm gonna ask him out. [Schmidt throws her phone] Hey.
Schmidt: You're not ready yet. I'm s... I'm sorry about your phone. I'm sure you have the protection plan.
Jess: I do have the...
Schmidt: [buzzing] Never get the protection plan!
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.