Schmidt Quote #755
Quote from Schmidt in The Last Wedding
Schmidt: Aw, man, this is gonna be big for us.
Nick: This is for you, buddy.
Schmidt: Thanks. Yeah! What the hell is that?
Nick: What are you talking about?
Schmidt: Yeah, what's-what's that on your hand, man? Why is it so rough? It's like hoof.
Nick: There's nothing on my hand. This is a regular old hand...
Schmidt: I'm out, I'm out.
Nick: You're out of what?
Schmidt: Four-way. Done. No way. Not with that thing.
Nick: You're a buffoon.
New Girl Quotes
‘The Last Wedding’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: I'm soft like a lady. You won't even know.
Nick: But what if I get a surprise?
Schmidt: "A surprise"?
Nick: What if there's a surprise on me?
Schmidt: There's not gonna be a surprise on you.
Nick: What if I'm fighting the war and boom... there's a surprise!
Schmidt: You go north, I go south. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm in steerage and I'm rowing. And I'm rowing and I'm rowing and the... You're up in the crow's nest. Fre-fresh air up there, man. And I'm in the trenches, you know? I'm digging for coal. I'm breathing in those fumes. And you're up here. You're just taking in the sights. You're spotting dolphins, huh? You're just the handsome prince covered in salty sea spray...
Nick: I don't want you calling me handsome before a potential four-way!
Quote from Jess
Jess: All five of us out there together, in the wild, getting some strange, like a sex fist.
Coach: I'm sorry, what?
Nick: Mm, that's not what you mean.
Schmidt: What's a sex fist, now?
Jess: One, two, three, four, five of us, together, make a fist.
Nick: You're making a mistake right now.
Jess: Schmidt, Nick, Coach, Winston, Jess... sex fist. When you put them all together...
Nick: No, that's not right.
Jess: ...tearing our way through the reception.
Nick: Slow down.
Coach: Are you listening to what you're saying?
Jess: Isn't that sweet? It's a metaphor for togetherness.
Coach: It could just be a fist.
Jess: All five of us sex-fisting our way...
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Come on, Nick. We don't have any other choice. I've found 15 other girls since I've been here. They're all either married or taken or mad at Coach.
Nick: I'm not doing a four-way with you...
Schmidt: It's the last helicopter out of Saigon, my man. Charlie won.
Nick: No, Schmidt.
Schmidt: You won't even know it's me, Nick. Look, at this point, it's all skin and shapes...
Nick: That's-that's what I'm afraid of.
Schmidt: It-it's the fog of war, man. There's so much stuff going on. You're just, you're just here.
Nick: Yeah...
Schmidt: You don't even know what's happening.
Nick: Okay, but I want to know what's happening if it's with sex... I don't want some fog of war on top of me, if it looks like you.
Schmidt: That's the point. The fog of war is something you can't see through.
Nick: Like, the whole thing with the Charlie thing and Vietnam, I don't know who I'm fighting!