Jess: There are two ways this can go. Number one: you tell us why you ruined the dance. Number two: I bash your skull in with a carburetor!
Cece: I thought I was bad cop.
Jess: You are the bad cop. I'm the tough, competent cop, who's good at her job, you're the kind of fumbly, dumb cop who's nice and...
Cece: Yeah, that's not how it works, though. I mean, the good cop is nice and the bad cop is mean.
Jess: That would be nice cop, mean cop.
Cece: That's how it works on every cop show, when you watch it.
Jess: I watch cop shows.
Cece: You need to pay more attention.
Jess: I do pay attention.

Jess: Thanks for helping me with my school dance.
Cece: "Love is Forever, ever, ever..." - How many "and ever"s?
Jess: Technically infinity, but I could only fit 12.

Winston: [girls scream] Gonna be a cop, straight walking a beat Role model, out on the street Unless I get assigned to a desk, which is also vital Because when paperwork slides, that's how you get a mistrial When I say "miss," you say "trial." Miss.
All: Trial.
Winston: I said, when I say "miss," you say "trial." Miss, unless you trying to die.
Nick: What, are you nuts?
Winston: Then know who you are.