Schmidt Quote #729
Coach: Schmidt, you're on snack table duty. Keep the chip bowls full. Don't let the kids spike the punch. And make sure Diabetic Amy only has four cookies.
Schmidt: Diabetic Amy ain't gonna get no cookies on my watch.
Coach: No, she-she has to have at least two or she'll pass out.
Schmidt: She's getting nothing as far as I'm concerned.
Coach: At least two, at least two or she'll pass out.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dance’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Coach: You three are the worst chaperones possible on earth. A dog would be better than you. A plant wearing underwear would be better than you. Ray Charles' ghost would be better than you! Wh- What kind of men are you?
Quote from Jess
Jess: There are two ways this can go. Number one: you tell us why you ruined the dance. Number two: I bash your skull in with a carburetor!
Cece: I thought I was bad cop.
Jess: You are the bad cop. I'm the tough, competent cop, who's good at her job, you're the kind of fumbly, dumb cop who's nice and...
Cece: Yeah, that's not how it works, though. I mean, the good cop is nice and the bad cop is mean.
Jess: That would be nice cop, mean cop.
Cece: That's how it works on every cop show, when you watch it.
Jess: I watch cop shows.
Cece: You need to pay more attention.
Jess: I do pay attention.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Thanks for helping me with my school dance.
Cece: "Love is Forever, ever, ever..." - How many "and ever"s?
Jess: Technically infinity, but I could only fit 12.