Jess Quote #623
Cece: Wow. I mean, this place is beautiful. It makes the other nine places we've seen today just kind of fade away.
Jess: Yeah, um, tell me about the neighborhood. Is there a lot of nightlife?
Broker: Well, this part of town is pretty quiet. Unless you count church bells. Which you should. We have nine within hearing distance.
Jess: What about the other tenants? Are there single men between 18 and 65? Actually, make that 16 and 72.
Broker: Most of the other tenants are middle-aged gay veterans like myself.
Jess: Oh. Whoa. [quietly] Jackpot.
Broker: And if the demons come calling, there's an emergency room right across the street.
Jess: You had me at "gay veterans." And then again at "emergency room." And before that at "church."
New Girl Quotes
‘Sister II’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Manager: Uh, so tell me, what are your three weakest qualities?
Winston: [chuckles] See...
Coach: [whispering] Just say "perfectionist."
Winston: Perfectionist. Yeah. And the other two, um... [laughs] [sputtering] I'm overheating, right? I'm overheating, okay? So here's what we're gonna do now I'm just gonna shoot from the hip, little rapid fire, give you some fun facts you might not know about me. I hate standing up, I'm bad with numbers, and I just honestly, from the bottom of my heart, don't think women should be allowed to handle money. Just, that's for real.
Manager: Let's just move on to the salary. And you didn't even fill out the back of the application.
Winston: There's a back? There is a back to the application? Coach.
Coach: What?
Winston: The LAPD exam maybe it had a back.
Coach: You didn't check to see if it had a back?
Winston: We got to go to the precinct. I didn't choke. I'm just careless. And that is my biggest weakness, you bitch. I'm so sorry, dude. I'm so sorry, dude.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: You were right to call me. Nobody deals with crazy girls better than I do. Crazy girls are kind of my Hurt Locker. You know what I mean, Nick?
Nick: Okay.
Schmidt: Yeah. Some-some men, they can just walk away. Not me. I just keep coming back.
Nick: Okay, are you gonna help me get her off the car?
Schmidt: Mmm. You know what this is, Nick?
Nick: What?
Schmidt: This is nonsense.
Nick: Exactly.
Schmidt: And how do we deal with nonsense? No, no. We just don't stand for it is what we do.
Quote from Cece
Cece: I wish I could just travel back in time and tell 19-year-old me to move into a place like this. Maybe I would've settled down. Met a, you know, nice guy. Nothing flashy. Works in a bank, makes a great veggie lasagna.
Jess: Okay, not now, Cece.
Broker: No, don't stop her. Who is this guy? [laughs]
Cece: Right? [sighs]