Schmidt Quote #676
Schmidt: Coach, you stay with your girl who thinks that you're me in my bedroom. Winston, you stay in the guest room with Bertie doing whatever the hell it is you guys are doing.
Coach: Gross.
Schmidt: I'm gonna keep Sarah... Almost there! I'm gonna keep Sarah in the living room, using one of the living-dining-open-floor-plan bang spots. Now, no exits, no entrances, no Noises Off baloney. Capeesh? Confirm my capeesh!
Coach: [gibberish]
Winston: Capeesh!
Schmidt: Let's go. Do it. All right. [they go off in seperate directions] Guys, guys.
Coach: This is the exact type of baloney that I'm talking about. Unbelievable. Guys, guys! I'm really glad that we're doing this.
New Girl Quotes
‘Exes’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Jess: I don't understand. You guys talked for 30 minutes. How did our relationship not come up?
Nick: 'Cause I got scared. There were so many things that I wanted to tell her.
[flashback:]
Nick: You ever thought how weird it would be if you just gave up your thumb? You just didn't have a thumb. I mean, how would you give a thumbs up? Just like this? [cut] I think a guy died in the building, 'cause one day in the Dumpster is a bunch of clothes that just fit me. [cut; British accent:] What I like to do now is take the Underground, yeah? Spend my quid. Cheers?
Quote from Jess
Jess: I did not steal your boyfriend.
Caroline: Timeline. Now.
Jess: Okay, um you and Nick break up. London has a great Olympics. Uh-oh, trouble in Syria. Board up your windows. Superstorm Sandy. Hey, over here. Me and Nick get together.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Oh, what's that? Uh, you want to watch the game? Which one? Basketball? Football? Of Thrones?
Winston: Oh! That is awesome, man. Look at this place, Schmidt. You got so many plush surfaces.
Schmidt: Well, there are 15 different bang spots in here, each one specifically designated to its own sexual position.
Winston: Mm.
Schmidt: That's standing, this is sitting, that's diagonal.
Winston: That's how I do it.
Schmidt: The "Why? Why? Because." The "Closure of the Lincoln Tunnel." The "Red Beanbag Chair." Which is pretty obvious, but, you know, that's a good one. The "Glass Menagerie." The "Bike Share."