Jess Quote #526
Artie: Oh, looks like you could use a new drink. Barkeep, can I please get a Shirley Temple with a finger of coconut rum and a lemon squeeze?
Jess: I call it a Temple Grandin because it makes friendly and compassionate. [laughs] I have a boyfriend.
Cece: No, she... No, she doesn't.
Jess: Yeah, I do. She do.
Cece: No.
Artie: Obviously, this is a bad time, and, uh, you're involved.
Jess: In some shape or other.
Cece: No, no, no. She's free as a bird.
Jess: Cece.
Artie: All right, well, he's a very lucky man. I hope he realizes that. Oh, don't move. You've got an eyelash. There we go. Make a wish.
Jess: I'm afraid to.
Artie: All right, take care.
Cece: Big mistake.
Jess: I shook his hand. I had my fun.
New Girl Quotes
‘Coach’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Nick: You want to drunk fight a cop?
Coach: He stole my girlfriend.
Winston: Did you hear the joke about the two black guys and two white guys who walked into a police station? The two white guys came out.
Quote from Coach
Schmidt: Good to have you back, old man. So, what, uh, you and Malia broke up?
Coach: Oh, yeah. She got real fat on me, so I was, like, "Ew. Bye."
Jess: I guess her gain is our gain!
Coach: Who are you?
Nick: Hey, come... Come on, man.
Jess: It's me, Jess.
Coach: Ah, yeah, no.
Jess: We lived together for, like, two weeks. We shared some pretty big moments.
[flashback:]
Coach: Yes! We got Bin Laden!
Jess: SEAL Team 6, bitches! [high five] Yeah! [high five] Yeah! [high-five] Yeah!
[present:]
Coach: Huh. I thought I was alone for that.
Jess: You weren't.
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Let's just get Coach really drunk until he passes out. Then we take him home. Shot contest. Like in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm not ripping a page from that pro-Nazi film.
Nick: It isn't pro-Nazi.
Schmidt: Of course it is. It might as well be an SS propaganda movie.
Nick: No, everybody in a Nazi uniform literally dies.
Schmidt: Yeah, the... When she puts the hand into the, uh...
Nick: The heart.
Schmidt: No, not... Well, that happens, too. Nazis.
Nick: I don't think that makes you a Nazi.
Schmidt: They ate the monkey brains, and there was all the bugs. Nazi, Nazi.