Nick Quote #522
Schmidt: What about that time that we saw Michael Keaton at that deli, and he stopped, and he winked?
Nick: Honestly, I can't explain that one. It was just the weirdest day of my whole life.
Schmidt: My friend Michael.
Nick: Oh, Schmidt, look, I know this is hard, okay? But honestly, I was just trying to help. You don't need Keaton. You got me.
Schmidt: [shudders] What was that?
Nick: I'm so sorry.
Schmidt: What- Why would you say something like that?
Nick: Because I hurt you, and I've been wanting to fix this for years.
Schmidt: The end of a high school football movie?
Nick: I'm really sorry I pretended to be Keaton for the last 12 years. It's super weird. Are we good?
Schmidt: Yeah. We're good.
New Girl Quotes
‘Keaton’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Nick: Keaton hasn't written Schmidt in three years. We have no idea how Schmidt is gonna react. If Schmidt finds out Keaton isn't real, it'll destroy the entire life he has built around him. We are talking about a Truman Show situation.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I love that movie. What part are you talking about?
Nick: Well, I'm talking about the part in the movie when Truman realizes that his whole life is a lie, and then he goes crazy.
Winston: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there in the middle of the movie.
Jess: No, it's the whole movie.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I know, I was just 'cause there's the one... There's like a scene.
Jess: You haven't seen it.
Nick: He didn't see the movie.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So let's fire up the Batman Mobile, go to a taco stand and eat some feelings, okay?
Cece: Okay, I just... I think it's Batmobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: No. Batmobile.
Jess: That's what I said Batman Mobile.
Cece: You're putting the man. There's no man. It's just Bat-
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Mobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile. Drop the man.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile.
Jess: Batmo-mobile.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I haven't been inside Keaton's mind in a long time, and I need my proper inspiration. [to Winston] Thank you.
Jess: Why do you have a picture of a bear?
Nick: The great Michael Keaton attacks each new role with the ferocity of a hungry brown bear. It is his entire acting philosophy, which I totally made up.
Jess: I sleep with this person.
Nick: Speak to me, Keaton. [drinks] Mmm. Here we go. [electronic whoosh]
Jess: Oh, hey, Nick, that's incredible. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it"?
Nick: Yes, I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.