Nick Quote #521
Nick: Jess, please stop. Thank you for what you're trying to do, but it's over. It has to be over. Schmidt, I'm Michael Keaton. I'm the owner of the e-mail address [email protected]
Schmidt: What?
Nick: It was me... The whole time.
Schmidt: No. No, you can't-
Nick: How do you think I know that you kissed the bus driver at spring break? Or that you want to open up a glassware boutique in Connecticut? Or about the wall hole?
Schmidt: This is impossible! I've been I've been writing with Michael Keaton since I was a kid!
Nick: Your mother came up with the idea, Schmidt. But since college, it's been me.
Schmidt: My mom? You're gonna tell me that my mom helped me with my public erections? I drew pictures!
Jess: He didn't want you to find out this way.
New Girl Quotes
‘Keaton’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Nick: Keaton hasn't written Schmidt in three years. We have no idea how Schmidt is gonna react. If Schmidt finds out Keaton isn't real, it'll destroy the entire life he has built around him. We are talking about a Truman Show situation.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I love that movie. What part are you talking about?
Nick: Well, I'm talking about the part in the movie when Truman realizes that his whole life is a lie, and then he goes crazy.
Winston: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there in the middle of the movie.
Jess: No, it's the whole movie.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I know, I was just 'cause there's the one... There's like a scene.
Jess: You haven't seen it.
Nick: He didn't see the movie.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So let's fire up the Batman Mobile, go to a taco stand and eat some feelings, okay?
Cece: Okay, I just... I think it's Batmobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: No. Batmobile.
Jess: That's what I said Batman Mobile.
Cece: You're putting the man. There's no man. It's just Bat-
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Mobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile. Drop the man.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile.
Jess: Batmo-mobile.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I haven't been inside Keaton's mind in a long time, and I need my proper inspiration. [to Winston] Thank you.
Jess: Why do you have a picture of a bear?
Nick: The great Michael Keaton attacks each new role with the ferocity of a hungry brown bear. It is his entire acting philosophy, which I totally made up.
Jess: I sleep with this person.
Nick: Speak to me, Keaton. [drinks] Mmm. Here we go. [electronic whoosh]
Jess: Oh, hey, Nick, that's incredible. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it"?
Nick: Yes, I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.