Nick Quote #515
Nick: When Schmidt was seven years old, his daddy divorced his mommy... [v.o.] And Schmidt was left without the love of a father. He didn't take it well. He began an endless cycle of crying and chocolate. Mrs. Schmidt tried everything to cheer him up, but nothing worked. Desperate, she looked to the stars. Movie stars. Mrs. Schmidt wrote that little fat loser a letter of support from the star of his favorite movie, Batman. But not the confusing new one. The good one, with Michael Keaton. And when Schmidt got his disgusting chubby hands on Keaton's letter, his life changed forever. But the real trouble was just beginning. You see, Schmidt wrote back. And he kept writing back about any problem he faced: bullies, schoolwork, public erections. And for every letter he sent, Michael Keaton sent one back.
Jess: Was Winston's version shorter?
Nick: Then one day, that tubby goon went off to college. So Mrs. Schmidt unloaded the secret on her son's only friend, a man named me. It was me.
Jess: Yeah, I got that.
Nick: Really? People don't
Jess: No, I got it.
Nick: College proved tough for Schmidt, and old patterns soon returned. It became impossible to study, and I knew what I had to do. And again... It worked. With Keaton in his corner, he pulled himself away from that bag of turkey and became a man. He lost five pounds, gained confidence with women and he saw the hit movie Multiplicity 25 times.
New Girl Quotes
‘Keaton’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Nick: Keaton hasn't written Schmidt in three years. We have no idea how Schmidt is gonna react. If Schmidt finds out Keaton isn't real, it'll destroy the entire life he has built around him. We are talking about a Truman Show situation.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I love that movie. What part are you talking about?
Nick: Well, I'm talking about the part in the movie when Truman realizes that his whole life is a lie, and then he goes crazy.
Winston: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there in the middle of the movie.
Jess: No, it's the whole movie.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I know, I was just 'cause there's the one... There's like a scene.
Jess: You haven't seen it.
Nick: He didn't see the movie.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So let's fire up the Batman Mobile, go to a taco stand and eat some feelings, okay?
Cece: Okay, I just... I think it's Batmobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: No. Batmobile.
Jess: That's what I said Batman Mobile.
Cece: You're putting the man. There's no man. It's just Bat-
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Mobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile. Drop the man.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile.
Jess: Batmo-mobile.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I haven't been inside Keaton's mind in a long time, and I need my proper inspiration. [to Winston] Thank you.
Jess: Why do you have a picture of a bear?
Nick: The great Michael Keaton attacks each new role with the ferocity of a hungry brown bear. It is his entire acting philosophy, which I totally made up.
Jess: I sleep with this person.
Nick: Speak to me, Keaton. [drinks] Mmm. Here we go. [electronic whoosh]
Jess: Oh, hey, Nick, that's incredible. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it"?
Nick: Yes, I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.