New Girl - Nick Quote #485
Jess: I kind of want to get a gun.
Nick: I'm definitely sexually attracted to ladybugs.
Nick: I prefer the Kilborn Daily Show. I think it's the best one. I know that you're really into...
Jess: It's not.
Nick: Yes, it is. He's very charming.
Jess: I'm weirdly good at volleyball.
Nick: I believe horses are from outer space.
Jess: I believe that too!
Quote from Nick
Jess: Cece still hasn't called me. Do you think you could test my phone again?
Nick: I can't. I don't have any more minutes.
Jess: Minutes, Nick?! Who still has minutes on their phone?!
Nick: I bought 10,000 minutes in 1999 and I'm still using them. I'm sorry.
Quote from Nick
Jess: Oh, Nick, go, go! We're gonna lose them! You keep nerd-stopping at every sign!
Nick: Look, if I get another ticket, they're gonna make me wear eyeglasses.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Um, that's interesting. I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words.
Quote from Young Adult
Nick: I'm using magnetic words to break through my writer's block, and it's not working. I've already folded all my shirts and masturbated six times, and I'm running out of things to do. I'm just in a real bind. You see, The Pepperwood Chronicles sold over 30 copies, Jess.
Jess: So, what, we're complaining about good things now?
Nick: It's just, my audience is gonna be clamoring for a sequel, and I can't leave those stevedores, those-those tugboat workers, those lighthouse keepers empty-handed.
Jess: You think that your audience is entirely made of, like...
Nick: Blue-collar nautical workers on the coastline of Maine. I don't think that, Jess, I know that.
Quote from Basketsball
Nick: Hey, where are you guys getting your photos developed these days? I got these beefcake selfies that I want to dangle in front of Jess, get her engine revved up.
Schmidt: Your phone has a camera, Nick.
Nick: These are sexy, sensual, private pics. I don't want them beamed right into Snowden's pocket. I'm not going through Wikileaks, man. It's not for me. Analog. It's the only thing you can trust.
Winston: You care to elaborate, you know, on this whole analog thing?
Nick: No, here's the reality, you never know what's gonna happen with a phone.
Nick: The hinges that hold the flip together, they get loosened over time when... when they get wet. And then once you open it, it's easier for people to go in there and see your passwords and, you know, see your codes. Once the screen breaks, your information's in the Twitterverse, man. And it's all out there for everyone to see, all these little monkey elves, man, all these kids. That's all they do. [sputters] Get your information, man. Bottom line is you can't control your technology. That's what's going on in Japan with all those robots. Not for me, man. That's why I trust a hard copy. Plain and simple.
Quote from Goldmine
Nick: When I came out, was it flashy? Was it emotional? Am I mad that Anderson Cooper doesn't fly the flag? Or for what he's doing in his own way-- is it even braver?
Jess: These are all really good questions, but I just can't get my mind off, like, why you dress this way. Why aren't you in better shape?
Nick: Don't put me in a box! There's nothing we gay men hate more than being put in a box.
Nick: Look, maybe I'm a bear, maybe I'm a twinkler.
Jess: That's not a category.
Nick: [loudly] I like rugby for the game and for the men. Now, if you excuse me, I got to go do that gay thing I was telling you about, because, of course, I'm gay as hell. [Jess laughs] Bye.
Jess: [whispers] That's not how gay men talk.
Nick: [whispers] I am shattering stereotypes.