Jess: Oh, my God. I have the chance to teach kids again.
Bob Day: You got to go.
Jess: Oh... Dad, you should come with me.
Nick: Yes, you should go with your daughter!
Bob Day: What am I gonna do, sit in your car and get mugged? I mean, I didn't gay my way out of Vietnam just to be killed by some punk. No, no. No, I'll stay with him.

Bob Day: Come on, what's she like?
Nick: She's, uh, not quirky.
Bob Day: No?
Nick: She's got no bangs.
Bob Day: No bangs.
Nick: Uh, tall and fat.
Bob Day: Really?
Nick: Yeah. Really ugly eyes. Small, tiny little beady eyes.
Bob Day: Yeah. Yeah.
Nick: Her name is, uh, Yolanda Winston.
Bob Day: Yolanda Winston.

Nick: This girl really means a lot to me, Bob. And I just don't want to screw it up.
Bob Day: Why would you screw it up?
Nick: I don't want to make excuses, but my dad was kind of a... a piece of... You know, truth be told, Bob, I'm afraid I'm a lot like him.
Bob Day: The mere fact that you just said that means that you're nothing like your old man. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you.
Nick: You mean that?
Bob Day: Yes, I do.
Nick: Think I'm gonna say something that might make you real happy. That little girl I was talking about, Yolanda? Her name isn't Yolanda. It's Jess. She's your daughter.
Bob Day: I'll kill you! [Nick screams] You're dead! You're dead!