Nick Quote #272

Quote from Nick in Eggs

Winston: How's the zombie novel coming?
Nick: Good, good, good. I haven't written a word.
Winston: Wait, are you serious? Nick, it's not that hard, man. Just sit down and write. You ain't Hemingway.
Nick: You boys are right. I got to be more like Hemingway.
Jess: I just lost another one of my eggs while you were comparing yourself to the most famous writer of all time.
Nick: Maybe the reason I have writer's block is I've been living too casual with you clowns. I need real-life adventure like Ernest Hemingway had at my age. Man, I got to run with the bulls. I got to kill a man with my bare hands after making sweet love to him and then sleep on the warm belly of his horse. I got to eat my way out of a sandwich house!
Winston: How much you know about Hemingway?
Nick: Not a lot! But I'm gonna learn! I'm becoming Ernest Hemingway. You idiots.


 ‘Eggs’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: Guess what I'm worried about? This sound. You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus. I don't need test results to tell me that it is The Grapes of Wrath in there. It is 1930s Dust Bowl in there, Schmidt. And they're all walking with limps.

Quote from Jess

Jess: I'm 30, I'm single, and I just started a new job. Tonight I used a bread roll to wipe butter off my face, and then I ate the bread roll, so I essentially used my face as a butter knife. I don't think I'm ready to bring new life into the world, but... what if all that's left are the weird eggs? And the evil eggs?
Cece: You have no evil eggs.
Jess: I can feel them. They're turning. They watched their brothers and sisters die, and now they want to be birthed. I need to be fertilized. [shouting out the window] Fertilize me, Los Angeles!
Cece: Calm down, all right? You're overreacting.
Jess: I am overreacting! You know why? Because I want a family. I want to give my nipples a purpose. [out the window] Give my nipples a purpose!
Man: Oh, yeah!
Jess: Oh, God, that was a mistake. Duck down. That was a mistake. We're taking that test.

Quote from Jess

Sadie: Well, I think that you guys made a really smart decision coming in here today.
Jess: Sadie, once at a senior graduation party, I sat in a very hot Jacuzzi for... 12 hours. Is there any chance that I sunny-side upped my eggs?
Sadie: No, Jess.
Jess: Oh, between the years of 1998 and 2005, I used a lot of self-tanner. Like, a lot. Is that a possibility of, um... Do I...
Sadie: Okay. Nope. Here we go.
Jess: I once fell on a pommel horse...