Jess Quote #207

Quote from Jess in Kids

Jess: Um, hey, I know having your teacher dating your dad is weird, um, but I just want you to know that, um, you can ask me anything.
Sarah: Really?
Jess: Yeah, anything.
Sarah: Are you in love with my dad?
Jess: Hmm... oh...
Sarah: Do you and my dad ever dry-lump?
Jess: G... uh...
Sarah: Is sexting cool?
Jess: What? No, it's not cool.
Sarah: Have you done a 99?
Jess: I think that's a tax form.
Sarah: Have you ever given anyone plow jobs?
Jess: I don't know.
Sarah: How do you make love to a person animal-style?
Jess: Do you want to learn how to play bridge?


 ‘Kids’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: So... that was crazy what happened with my friends, right?
Sarah: I liked it. Your life's like Gossip Girl, only everyone is old and poor.
Jess: You know, there actually was a show like that. It was called Golden Girls. I'm Betty White, Schmidt's Rue McClanahan...

Quote from Cece

Jess: But you're using birth control, right?
Cece: Yeah, of course. It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.
Jess: I didn't want to know that.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: I've been doing some thinking, and I think it's time that I take you on a real date.
Cece: You're asking me out on a date?
Schmidt: Yeah, it'll be our first real date. Now, Italy on Ice is a celebration of all things Italian featuring ice dancing's biggest and brightest Italian stars. Drea de Matteo is scheduled to appear, but, you know, they're not liable if she doesn't.