Jess Quote #184
Quote from Jess in Fancyman, Part 2
Russell: And I want to talk to you. I want to have a chance to explain.
Jess: That's okay. I understand. I just... I thought you wanted a sophisticated lady, but now I realize that you like dating younger girls 'cause we think you're cool. And you know what? It's working because... I think you're a hotty with a body.
Russell: Oh. Um... I got to tell you, I didn't ask you out because you're younger than me. I asked you out because I like you. But I-I've forgotten really how... how to do this, you know. I haven't dated since 1989... when I took her to the picture show in my buggy.
Jess: 1989 was, my friend, the year that I learned to use the toaster by myself.
Russell: Oh. The text I got at dinner was from my ex-wife. Sarah's with her this weekend, I didn't pack her inhaler. She was having an asthma attack.
Jess: Is Sarah okay?
Russell: Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. I-I... I just feel like I should have explained. And I really wanted to kiss you the other night.
Jess: Really?
Russell: I wanted to do more than kiss you. I'd like to do you, at some point. [Jess laughs] Like, you know, really, really give it to you good. Uh, but I've forgotten how to tell whether it's the right moment. I was nervous.
Jess: You were nervous? Nick was right. He can be really wise sometimes.
New Girl Quotes
‘Fancyman, Part 2’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: Um, how good are the Beatles?
Russell: Beatles are the best.
Jess: Were you so upset when they broke up?
Russell: I would have been, but I was one.
Jess: [chuckles] Well, you're not one any more. How's your prostate?
Russell: Uh...
Jess: I had my breast exam last week, and, like, they're fine. It's just boob in there, but we have to be careful. Our bodies are decaying.
Quote from Schmidt
Winston: Mind if I borrow your car to take Shelby to the airport?
Schmidt: Oh, I don't have a car, Winston.
Winston: Hey, Schmidt, uh, you mind if I use the, uh, "man-bulance"?
Schmidt: The man-bulance is resting. He needs to get ready for the corporate team-building retreat on Monday.
Winston: That's cool. I'm sure the man-bulance couldn't handle all of Shelby's luggage anyway.
Schmidt: What the hell is wrong with you, Winston? The man-bulance could fit the luggage of nine Shelbys. It has the towing capacity of a thousand Shelbys. You know what? Here you go, Winston. [hands him the keys] There you go. Enjoy luxury.
Winston: All good, man. I got your second set, so thank you.
Schmidt: How'd you get my second set of keys?
Quote from Jess
Jess: Nick, your houseguest is urinating in the bathroom Tony the Tiger style.
Schmidt: Naked with a kerchief?
Jess: What?
Schmidt: Naked with a kerchief.
Jess: No, what do you call top, no pants?
Schmidt: Oh, that's like a Winnie the Pooh or a Paddington.
Winston: Honey the Smacks Frog.
Schmidt: There's a Donald the Duck. I guess pretty much any kind of bear except for Yogi 'cause that's naked with a tie.
Winston: Alvin, Simon, Theodore.
Jess: I saw his entire butt.