Jess Quote #119
Quote from Jess in The Landlord
Jess: Knock, knock. Mr. Landlord? Um, I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame. I know I do, so if you could do me a solid and take care of those extras? Cool office. I like your... bucket of... gasoline. It's super practical. What you got there?
Remy: Broom.
Jess: So, I live in, um, Four D... There are a lot of real safety hazards in our loft. Nothing a little landlording couldn't fix. What do you say?
Remy: No.
Jess: [points to drawing] That's a sweet picture. How old are your kids?
Remy: I did that. It's me and my ex-wife.
Jess: Okay, you know what? Um... My roommates are really scared of you, but I know you're a good man, and I know you don't want the four of us living in a dangerous apartment. The four of you?
Remy: Apartment Four D, there's only supposed to be three people.
Jess: Oh, did I say four? You know what? I was counting myself twice. It's so easy to do. Big personality over here, so... gonna go... [mutters]
New Girl Quotes
‘The Landlord’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Okay, where'd you find that?
Nick: Do not ever stop reading this.
Schmidt: I was very young. And drunk.
Winston: Were you too drunk to "begin the search for the cocoon..."
Nick: Cocoon. [chuckles]
Winston: ...that will one day release your butterfly"?
Cece: No, it does not say that one!
Nick: That's number three.
Cece: Come on!
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Why are you doing this to me?
Winston: Maybe I just got bored painting over your interplanetary ass dojo. This is my favorite. "Find out where Winston gets his sparkle, and then steal it."
Cece: Oh!
Nick: Steal his...!
Winston: You were gonna steal my sparkle?
Schmidt: Give me that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Maybe no one's ever been nice to him. Maybe violence is his only tool to express himself. [waves] Hi.
Nick: Huh? Get down. What are you doing?!
Jess: Hi. Don't kill us. Don't use guns!
Nick: Stop it. Just stop it. Just get down. [to the man] We're sorry. Take the spot.
Jess: Sir...
Nick: Just be submissive.
Jess: Sorry about this guy.
Nick: Don't apologize...
Jess: He's overreacting.
Nick: I'm overreacting? He has a gun, and you're dressed like a bull's-eye. [the man puts his gun away]
Jess: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Nick: I can't believe this is working.
Jess: Sorry.
Nick: You out-crazied a man with a gun.
Jess: Have a good day. [to Nick] See, it worked. You always see the worst in people.