Jess Quote #90

Quote from Jess in Bad in Bed

Jess: Hey, guys, I don't have much time. Can we get this back on track? I need to know what to do. Would flicking be, like, a cool thing?
Schmidt: No.
Nick: No!
Winston: Absolutely not.
Schmidt: How about role play? Do you know any voices?
Jess: Yes. I can do an old-timey newscaster, like, "Hey there, son, I'm gonna kick you into next Tuesday, see?"


 ‘Bad in Bed’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: [British accent] Mr. Darcy's going to love my new bonnet.
Cece: Why are we here?
Jess: You don't understand. You've never been cheated on before. Spencer and I never tried anything new, and maybe if I'd been... more erotic...
Cece: Spencer cheated on you because he's a total jerk, not 'cause you're bad in bed.
Jess: It's been six years. Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.

Quote from Paul

Jess: I just haven't had sex with anyone but Spencer in six years, and I get so nervous. It's like starting a new job with a really weird interview.
Paul: Don't worry about it. I'm good. I'm more than good. It's okay.
Jess: You know what? Tomorrow night. Let's just go out to dinner and then just nail each other. Just pound each other. V-bomb on the P-bomb. [makes explosion noise]
Paul: I would have the... P-bomb, right?

 Jess Day Quotes

Quote from The Hike

Jess: We're lost. Why did you let me chase a waterfall? You know what TLC says.

Quote from Eggs

Jess: Guess what I'm worried about? This sound. You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus. I don't need test results to tell me that it is The Grapes of Wrath in there. It is 1930s Dust Bowl in there, Schmidt. And they're all walking with limps.