Jess Quote #88

Quote from Jess in Bad in Bed

Jess: I just, I have to go on this date right now and I can't do it. I'm freaking out, okay? I need all of you to sit in front of me and tell me what guys like in bed, right now.
Winston: What do you want to know?
Jess: Okay. Um, when you're... if you're in the... if you're holding the... Start over. Um... when you reach... completion...
Nick: Yeah, that was it.
Winston: Completion?
Jess: No! No, wait.
Nick: I can't do this, Jess.

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 ‘Bad in Bed’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Jess: [British accent] Mr. Darcy's going to love my new bonnet.
Cece: Why are we here?
Jess: You don't understand. You've never been cheated on before. Spencer and I never tried anything new, and maybe if I'd been... more erotic...
Cece: Spencer cheated on you because he's a total jerk, not 'cause you're bad in bed.
Jess: It's been six years. Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.

Quote from Paul

Jess: I just haven't had sex with anyone but Spencer in six years, and I get so nervous. It's like starting a new job with a really weird interview.
Paul: Don't worry about it. I'm good. I'm more than good. It's okay.
Jess: You know what? Tomorrow night. Let's just go out to dinner and then just nail each other. Just pound each other. V-bomb on the P-bomb. [makes explosion noise]
Paul: I would have the... P-bomb, right?

Quote from Jess

Jess: Hey, guys, I don't have much time. Can we get this back on track? I need to know what to do. Would flicking be, like, a cool thing?
Schmidt: No.
Nick: No!
Winston: Absolutely not.
Schmidt: How about role play? Do you know any voices?
Jess: Yes. I can do an old-timey newscaster, like, "Hey there, son, I'm gonna kick you into next Tuesday, see?"