Jess Quote #10
Jess: So are you always just like wondering, like, what was it, was there something I could've done differently? [Nick shakes his head] Do you know what happens to people who keep it all inside? They get old, and they get sad and they get weird, and then you're the old man yelling at the kids who are running across your yard and you're telling them, "Don't run across my yard. My life's filled with regret." You know, you can't just pretend like it didn't happen.
Nick: Or I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Jess: Yeah, I think you should sing all the time.
Nick: No, I was being mean, I'm not gonna do that, Jess.
Jess: Why not?! It's fun!
Nick: Because I have a penis, Jess.
Jess: [sings] My name is Nick, I have a penis and I'm not gonna let any feelings out.
Nick: Okay Jess, your left boob is resting on a plate of chicken wings.
Jess: Yeah, I know.
New Girl Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Waitress: I'm sorry. We're gonna have to ask you to give up the table.
Jess: Um, can I please just stay, just a little bit longer?
Nick: [rushes in with the guys] We're here. Yup. We're here, Jess! We're here.
Schmidt: We're here for the date, the date thing.
Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah we are. We're her boyfriends. We are reverse Mormons. One man just isn't enough for her.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, "Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "Okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, uh, my story's kind of like that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hello? I came home early.
Spencer: Jess. What-
Jess: Who's Jess? You're talking to...Tiger Boobs. [takes off her coat]
Spencer: Oh...
Jess: [sings] I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Spencer: This-
Jess: I'm doing sexy stuff to the plant right here.
Spencer: Woah, okay.
Jess: I'll pick that up later. [sings] Who's that girl? Who's that girl? [spins around naked] It's Jess!