Jess: I'd really love to come home and soak in a beautiful bathtub.
Schmidt: Bathtubs are Medieval filth cauldrons ... pass.
Nick: Yeah, it's a waste of money, Jess.
Schmidt: I'm not interested in simmering in testicle tea for 20 minutes.

Winston: Jess and I want a tub. We want candles and bubbles. Oh, damn it, Schmidt, we want bubbles, man. I want to cover everything up on my body with bubbles. You know, and then just blow 'em off like this... and laugh, like...

Winston: How come I'm James Brown?
Jess: When you don't smile for my pictures, you get replaced. You come home after a long, hard day at work.
Nick: Tired.
Jess: You want to relax, but how? How about soaking in a glorious bubbly pool for one? Sipping the nectar of the gods.
Nick: I don't get it ... is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; It's rosé. Burn notice, France.