Schmidt Quote #1084
Schmidt: You wanted to see me, Kim?
Kim: Schmidt. Why did you copy me on all these e-mails you sent planning your wedding?
Schmidt: What? Oh. [clears throat] Darn it. Sorry about that. Um, Kim is actually also the name of our chef's new assistant.
Kim: To your florist: "Beaming over the peony centerpieces. No chance I'll get work done today." To your dj: "fat wet beats..."
Schmidt: FWB.
Kim: "What about a swing theme for cocktail hour? I'll spend the day brainstorming tracks. Out."
Schmidt: I'm no longer with fat wet beats. We had a few conversations and he was being a straight-up ho.
Kim: Is this what you've been doing instead of the regional brand report? It was due three days ago.
Schmidt: That. Yes. Of course, I'm gonna have that to you in... Why are you Sm... why you smiling... at me like that?
Kim: I'm imagining what it would be like to fire you. The same feeling I had when we unplugged my mother-in-law. Beep... Beep... Beep... [smiles]
Schmidt: Is that legal... In California?
Kim: You've been warned. If I catch you doing anything at all related to your wedding, you are out.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dress’ Quotes
Quote from Aly
Winston: So... Which one of us takes the blackmailing gambling addict?
Aly: I'll take him. Can't be worse than the job I had before this... Photographing those idiot babies.
[flashback:]
Aly: Uncross your eyes, you idiot baby. [baby cries]
[present:]
Winston: Is that why you have all those pictures of crying babies dressed as vegetables in your living room?
Aly: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Winston: Yeah, that was weird.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Jess, what if I told you that there was a place... Where you could work in peace.
[cut to:]
Jess: Um... Schmidt, this is the men's room at your office.
Schmidt: Oh, no, this is my wedding workshop. See, I'm the only guy in the building. Well, except, of course, for Brian but, you know, I pay Brian eight dollars a day to do his poops at the big box store across the street.
Jess: That seems high. When do you do the work that you get paid for?
Schmidt: Rarely, and it's a problem, but, you know, we couldn't afford a planner, so, here we are. Please... Have a seat at the think sink.
Jess: Oh. Hmm. Don't mind if I do. [laughs] I like its energy. I will create a dress today.
Schmidt: If you need anything, just let me know. Also... There's a fridge stocked with sparkling water in stall three.
Quote from Aly
Aly: You know this is blackmail... and you're a police officer.
Daniels: Oh... I am a disaster. So here's the thing. Should I... Do we have a deal or do I go to the sergeant? How do we want to...?
Aly: You don't own us. You know what... Everybody, Bishop and I are...
Winston: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you sure about this?
Aly: Yes. Yeah, I've never been more sure of anything. Hey, everyone, Bishop and I are dating. All right? That's right. We are rubbing butts and we don't care who knows it.