Schmidt Quote #998

Quote from Schmidt in Wig

Schmidt: You know, when we first met, I had to pretend that all kinds of things were wrong with you just so I wouldn't freak out. You know, like, I gave you a glass eye for a while. You had a wooden foot for a short period of time. There was one week where I pretended that you were a Democrat.
Cece: I am a Democrat.
Schmidt: [laughing] Ah, that's so funny. I love you.
Cece: Okay. So we tell Nick she has a glass eye.
Schmidt: He'll spin out. He'll think the eye is a government-issued camera taking pictures for Langley. [Cece scoffs] Nick's a conspiracy theorist. It's like an Irish carnival up there-- just potato peels, broken rides, fiddle music, dreams left unfulfilled, bloodied soccer jerseys, bunch of women limping around named Moira.

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 ‘Wig’ Quotes

Quote from Winston

Camilla: Are you really gonna let her get away with this? You must know how this makes me feel. You've clearly been dumped many times.
Winston: Why do people keep saying that?
Camilla: You ordered a Shirley Temple.
Winston: It's a virgin Denzel.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Okay. So I'm Camilla. Break up with me.
Reagan: [clears throat] [scoffs] Camilla...
Winston: Yes, baby. I love you so much.
Reagan: We have had a lot of really good times together, and I just...
Winston: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my goodness, oh, my God! I knew this was comin'. Oh, my God, oh, my goodness.
Reagan: What-what are you doing?
Winston: Oh, no. Are you breaking up with me? Why you hate me? Why you hate me so much?
Reagan: I don't... I don't hate you. I don't hate you.
Winston: Oh, my God, you don't? Oh, my goodness. So you're not breaking up with me. We're gonna have such a happy life together.
Reagan: I-I... I am. I am breaking up with you.
Winston: Oh, my God, you is breakin' up with me. Why you is breakin' up with me and stuff? Yo, this is mad crazy. I'm pregnant with your child. Okay.
Reagan: That isn't possible.
Winston: Yeah, his name is D'Lante.
Reagan: We would never name our child that.
Winston: Yeah. D-apostrophe-Lante.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh! Jackpot. Ribbons! Oh, these are probably Jess's.
Schmidt: Nick, stop. You should not be in here.
Nick: I am learning so much about you, Reagan. An Ohio State T-shirt. Cash from Canada. It's Canadian cash. A picture of a little boy. This woman is like an orange. You peel a layer, there's another layer there.
Schmidt: You're thinking of an onion. An orange only has one layer. Oh, you poor thing.