Schmidt Quote #795
Schmidt: I'm just looking over some of the pics from today. I don't know which one to send to the agent. I've narrowed it down to 60.
Coach: I can take a look at 'em.
Schmidt: Yeah, okay. Just tell me what you think about a couple of these. I just, I don't know what's what at this point. This "hot guy with a kidnapped son..."
Coach: Wow. He really looks like he's never gonna find his son.
Schmidt: "Classical guitarist loses a shoe."
Coach: That guy's never gonna find his shoe.
Schmidt: I don't know. This is "cuddles with tigers."
Coach: Oh-ho. It's good.
Schmidt: This is "how did I get up here?" What do you think about this one? "Kiss the cook." See, I like "kiss the cook." It's catalog.
Coach: His lips are popping.
Schmidt: There's an accessibility with this one that I feel like...
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.