Jess Quote #726
Jess: I know now why I was superficial. It's because I was scared.
Matt: Of my micro...
Jess: No. No! Of mine.
Matt: What?!
Jess: I'm saying that we should all celebrate our flaws! Together! I'm saying that... The one day I wear jeans. I'm saying, look. We're exactly the same.
Matt: I'm sorry, what-what am I looking at?
Jess: This monstrosity the doctors call a knee that I didn't know was a problem till, like, three days ago.
Woman: What the hell is this?!
Jess: You have a girlfriend?
Woman: He did! [kicks in a painting]
Matt: Whoa, whoa... How can... no, no, no! How dare you! That's war question mark! How dare you don't answer me!
Jess: Think I should go.
Matt: You owe me $12,000!
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.