Jess Quote #701
Jess: Wait a minute. Are you from Portland? The Jolly Cow Creamery.
Jacob: Yeah, I used to work there summers in high school.
Jess: No way. I'm from Portland, too.
Jacob: Are you serious?
Jess: Yes. I used to go there all the time in high school.
Jacob: Oh, my God.
Jess: That's so funny. [both laugh]
Jacob: Yeah, I hope you like this place. I live, like, right across the street, so...
Jess: Oh. [clears throat] I get it. You asked me here because you want me to go home with you.
Jacob: Wait. What?
Jess: No. Um, you know what? I got to go. I have hockey practice. I'm center wing, so they really need me. I...
Jacob: Wow. Okay, I just live across the street. I'm not some weirdo trying to lure you back to my apartment. I thought we were kind of hitting it off. Guess you just make a snap decision, and then that's it, so... All right, well, have a good practice. And by the way, there's no center wing in hockey.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.