Schmidt Quote #656
Quote from Schmidt in Basketsball
Ed: Ladies, you all look like a hundred bucks. I hope someone's taking you out for oysters Rockefeller tonight. Now, before I begin, my little helper here will distribute some handouts for your reference.
Schmidt: Uh, you know what, Ed? I'm really sorry. Company printers are on the fritz, so little helper that I am, I decided to load everything up onto the laptop. There you go. [Ed is startled as he sees the presentation on the screen behind him]
Ed: [chuckles] Well, I'm sure there's a printer that works. I'll just wait for the hard copies.
Schmidt: [whispers] I broke all the printers.
Ed: I'm gonna beat you with an orange in a sock.
Schmidt: Besides, we're talking about technology, aren't we? Be a little silly to talk about technology without using technology. Am I right, Kim?
Kim: Use the technology, Ed.
Ed: [clears throat] Hup-I-dip-I-dip... Oh... [grunts] My left arm. My neck. [gasps] You got me this time, Hebrew. But I'll be back.
Kim: This is why the cutoff's at 45, ladies.
New Girl Quotes
‘Basketsball’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: Hey, where are you guys getting your photos developed these days? I got these beefcake selfies that I want to dangle in front of Jess, get her engine revved up.
Schmidt: Your phone has a camera, Nick.
Nick: These are sexy, sensual, private pics. I don't want them beamed right into Snowden's pocket. I'm not going through Wikileaks, man. It's not for me. Analog. It's the only thing you can trust.
Winston: You care to elaborate, you know, on this whole analog thing?
Nick: No, here's the reality, you never know what's gonna happen with a phone.
Winston: Right.
Nick: The hinges that hold the flip together, they get loosened over time when... when they get wet. And then once you open it, it's easier for people to go in there and see your passwords and, you know, see your codes. Once the screen breaks, your information's in the Twitterverse, man. And it's all out there for everyone to see, all these little monkey elves, man, all these kids. That's all they do. [sputters] Get your information, man. Bottom line is you can't control your technology. That's what's going on in Japan with all those robots. Not for me, man. That's why I trust a hard copy. Plain and simple.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: That liver spot out-sharked me. Can you believe that? I'm-I'm a minnow. Tomorrow, Ed is gonna present my idea to the board, and then he's gonna get the get the promotion. My career is toast. Minnow toast. Yeah, well, I tip my hat to him. The minnow tips his tiny hat to the shark, and then lays down on the toast to be eaten.
Cece: There is too much going on in whatever metaphor you're trying. Okay? It's too busy.
Cece: Somewhat made se- Oh, forget it.
Schmidt: Oh, forget it. Ed wins. I'm a mess.
Winston: Hell, no, Schmidt. Justice has to be served, all right?
Cece: Mm-hmm.
Schmidt: Right. Let us stop Ed. The minnow needs to get up off of... No, off of the toast mat and fish-fight his way to the orangutan ball.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: This is a big part of the biz, my man. Networking, face time, making deals. Normally, this would have a much sexier, businessman's vibe. But not when I'm dragging around this old drooling potato.
Ed: "Potata"? Yeah, I can split a baked "potata".
Schmidt: What a life you must have lead. Tell us about the street car, will you?
Ed: Oh, it was a dynamite way to get around.