Jess Quote #245
Jess: I know you've been waiting all week for me to break down, but I'm fine. Just be normal.
Nick: I'm being normal.
Jess: You're crossing your legs.
Nick: I always do this.
Jess: You've never crossed your legs in your entire life. I didn't even know you were that flexible.
Nick: Well...
Jess: And stop being nice to me.
Nick: What, I'm not normally nice to you, Jess?
Jess: No. You're mean, like a crazy old man. "I'm Nick. I hate sunshine. When did gum get so fancy? This escalator goes too fast." Be mean.
Nick: [loudly] Look sharp, you dumb-ass. Sorry. That... that was in my head a little. Look sharp, you dumb-ass. No. Tighten up!
Jess: That's terrible.
Nick: I don't have it today. I don't know what it is.
New Girl Quotes
‘Re-Launch’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: But if there's anything that majoring in marketing with a minor in theater studies has taught me, it's that everybody has a brand. Nick, your brand is gypsy alcoholic handyman. Winston, your brand is Winston. Nicholas, Winstoniel, I'm staging an event to relaunch the Schmidt brand. It's going to happen this Saturday night, and it is going to be epic.
Nick: You're having a party to tell girls you're ready to have sex again?
Schmidt: Not a party; A rebranding event.
Nick: Please tell me there's not a theme.
Schmidt: There most certainly is a theme ... it is a secret that will be announced on the night.
Nick: I bet it's danger.
Schmidt: No, you're... you're wrong. It's not danger. It'll be announced on the night.
Nick: I really think It's going to be danger.
Winston: I'm going to go with danger.
Schmidt: Come on, man, it's not danger. Stop guessing danger.
Quote from Jess
Nick: How you doing, kid?
Jess: Great. My boobs are loving this unemployed thing. They don't have to go to boob jail every day. [laughs] Job hunt is on. This hospital Web site says I can earn up to $700, and all I have to do is be infected with dengue fever.
Quote from Schmidt
Jess: Hi. I got laid off.
Nick: What? Are you serious?
Winston: Oh, my God. What happened?
Schmidt: Obama.