Nick Quote #179
Nick: [on TV] Look at how far you've come, Nick. Want to be a bartender forever, pal?
Nick: I'm still a bartender.
Nick: [on TV] You want to be a grown man who dresses like an unsponsored professional skateboarder? You don't want to live like this. You're moving on. I'm here to tell you you're doing the right thing, so just keep going.
Nick: Can I talk to you Nick-to-Nick for a second? I respect you, man. You're rocking the hell out of that beard, and the long hair looks good, despite what other people are gonna say. Look, the Caroline that broke your heart, I get why you don't like her. But it's a different Caroline that's picking me up in five minutes, Nick. Do you want me to live alone in this loft for the rest of my life?
Nick: [on TV] Hey, what's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
Nick: Well, thanks, guys. You helped me figure something out.
Nick: [on TV] All right, well, look, I think this was a really nice talk, Future Nick. I hope you got something from it, 'cause I know that I did. [crying] I'm gonna call her. I have to call..
Schmidt: [on TV] No! Damn it, give me the phone.
New Girl Quotes
‘Backslide’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Winston: So you and Cece are staying away from each other.
Schmidt: Only until my penis stops looking like a knotted wizard's staff.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Hey, Jess. I brought you some tea. Just gonna leave it right here, okay? There you go. So, Russell... Ouch. Right? I mean, who saw that coming? Not me. Certainly not Russell. I guess, I guess you saw it coming. I mean, 'cause you're the one who broke up with him.
Jess: Leave, Schmidt.
Schmidt: All right, fine. I'll leave. But you know what? Know this: you're not the only one that's hurting here, Jessica Day. The economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now, and I...
Jess: Don't say "broken penis."
Schmidt: ...have a broken penis. Don't pretend to know my pain.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: [moaning] It hurts so bad, because...
Cece: What's turning you on?
Schmidt: Oh...
Cece: The queen of diamonds? The bow?
Schmidt: Oh, my God.
Cece: The teeth in the glass?
Schmidt: I care about you so much.
Cece: The leaf painting?
Schmidt: But...
Cece: Is emotional intimacy turning you on?
Schmidt: [groans]
Cece: Are you in that much pain? Uh, he passed out. We need help!