Schmidt: Yeah, it's not so easy, is it? Can't just snap your fingers and become a couple of Calvin Harrises-e-es.

Schmidt: If I don't have my taste, then what's real? Are cargo shorts gorgeous? Was I wrong about rubber awareness bracelets? Should I grow a goatee?
Winston: Look, Schmidt, you got fooled. Who cares, man? [Cece chuckles]
Schmidt: I care, Winston. I care. [exhales] I always thought of myself as a brand, as a lifestyle, but now... you know what, I'm gonna take back that chair, and I'm gonna get rid of all my gingham and I'm gonna... go buy a 14-pack of tube socks... at the grocery store.

Winston: When we are done with this song, Schmidt will totally think it is by Diplo or Garrix or Deadmau5.
Cece: What is this?
Winston: Don't worry about that, your mind is in a weird situation. First things first. I recorded a bunch of noises around the loft. Right?
Cece: Mm-hmm.
Winston: So we could use it as the hook. It is the mark of any EDM song. Now, check this one out. Nick shaving without shaving cream. [Nick grunting] He's bleeding at this point.
Cece: It's good, I'm just laughing at...
Nick: Yeah, it's nasty.
Cece: ... just seeing him.
Winston: Okay, check this one out.
Schmidt: [recording] Haberman, my Haberman. Haberman. My Haberman. My-my-my-my Haberman.
Cece: This one has a pretty good rhythm to it.