Winston Quote #717

Quote from Winston in Christmas Eve Eve

Winston: Excuse me, uh, Deb, we need to check your trunk... we're looking for a package. It is addressed to Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo.
Schmidt: What a stupid name.
Winston: Tell it to your stupid wife, man... it's one of our inside jokes.
Schmidt: You two don't have inside jokes.
Winston: Man, we got loads of inside jokes! My turtleneck, uh, my trick hip, that "Hok-fooey, Jean Luc!"

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Features in the collection: Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds.

‘Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds’

Quote from Winston in Secrets

Winston: All right, everybody stop! Wherever you are right now, just sit down! Okay, now, Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me! You, give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing. You, get out of my house!
Holly: Who are you?
Winston: Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.
Nick: Not true.
Winston: Dear lord, help me, Father! Get out of my house. Get out of my house!

Quote from Winston in Engram Pattersky

Winston: Gotcha! [laughs] Prank Sinatra, baby!
Cece: What?
Schmidt: I don't get it. The truck is the prank? What, did you pay the rental fee? Winston, that's just nice.
Winston: You didn't have to move.
Nick: Yes, we did have to move, you idiot. We got evicted.
Jess: What is he talking about?
Nick: I have no idea.
Winston: Engram Pattersky. If you rearrange those letters, what does it spell?
Jess: "My greatest prank."
Winston: My greatest prank!

 ‘Christmas Eve Eve’ Quotes

Quote from Reagan

Jess: [on the phone] So I fly you down. You are my gift to Nick. What do you say?
Reagan: I don't know, Jess. I mean, I have a really big pitch tomorrow. It's a treatment for... I mean, the polite term is "gravelly bowel syndrome."

Quote from Winston

Winston: Let's see. KXHD136.
Schmidt: You memorized the package tracking number, but you didn't know that you could use that number to track the package?
Winston: What?! 9:18 A.M. refused delivery? Did you refuse a package to Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo?
Schmidt: Listen to what you just asked. Of course I did.
Winston: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it, Schmidt! I am Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo! It is my Secret Santa alias.
Schmidt: Oh.
Winston: Yeah. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Quote from Winston

Winston: You didn't sign for it!
Schmidt: How was I supposed to sign for Garage-A-Roo's package? You and your dang old aliases. You have a new alias every day, Winston.
Winston: Yes, but you should know it's me!
Schmidt: Garage-A-Roo, Kenneth.
Winston: But it was me clearly! Kenneth Kenneth. Rick Smits, Big Poppy Jones.
Schmidt: These are the dumbest names I've ever heard!
Winston: Pontius Pilate.
Schmidt: AKA idiot. Maybe that truck is still in the neighborhood. Let's go out and try and get it.
Winston: Wait! This just became a Schmidt and a Jay Garage-A-Roo mess-around.
Schmidt: Freakin' Jay Garage-A-Roo.