Schmidt Quote #1091

Quote from Schmidt in Return to Sender

Nick: He shows you a great time, you get sucked in, then he disappears and breaks your heart, and I'm left to pick up the pieces.
[flashback to college:]
Younger Schmidt: My dad's taking me to... Miss Saigon tonight! And I'm not gonna get hurt.
[flashback to a little later:]
Younger Schmidt: My dad never showed up.
Younger Nick: He didn't?
Younger Schmidt: It hurts so bad!
Younger Nick: You want a milkshake, cowboy? [Schmidt nods]

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 ‘Return to Sender’ Quotes

Quote from Nick

Nick: But if it goes poorly, I'm not putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.
Schmidt: Am I Humpty Dumpty?
Nick: Yeah. I'm just not doing it again.
Schmidt: You won't have to.
Nick: Also, nowhere in that rhyme does it say he's an egg.
Schmidt: He's most definitely an egg, Nick.
Nick: So, what kind of king uses all those resources to put together one egg?
Schmidt: It's a parable. Humpty Dumpty is the king.
Nick: Who told you that?

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: Look, I know you don't trust my dad, but I'm happy that he's here. We're working through stuff.
Nick: Wait, Schmidt, I want you to have a relationship with your father. I really do, but I've been down this road so many times. He just shows up out of the boo, and then all of a sudden expects...
Schmidt: It's "blue". It's "blue."
Nick: Well, thanks, Eye-stein.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Hey, Jess, heads up, I borrowed your towel.
Jess: Use your own towel if you're gonna shower.
Nick: No, I didn't shower, I just sponged off.
Jess: Ew. Ugh! That's even worse. You didn't even get clean before you used the towel.
Nick: It's called a French whore's bath.
Jess: You wouldn't make a dime as a French whore.
Cece: You would make zero dollars.
Nick: I'd make millions, millions. Bonjour. Croissant. Millions.