Jess Quote #970
Jess: Ugh! Son of a bitch. Nothing. I'm trying to get in touch with Sam... you know, to clear the air... Why isn't he responding?
Cece: I'm just gonna go out on a crazy limb here... maybe it's because you got his girlfriend to dump him?
Jess: I'm not being weird about it. I just texted him three times. [Schmidt sighs, groans] And I called him. He wasn't there. I left him a sensible voice mail. To lighten the mood, I told a little story about how the first-graders' pet rabbit got stuck in the lawn mower and I had to... I had to collect it.
Schmidt: That's a terrible story.
Winston: Colonel FlapEars?
Cece: Wow.
New Girl Quotes
‘300 Feet’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: Can we please stop competing with these fad bars? I hate fads, man.
Schmidt: Nick, just a small little piece of important, friendly advice: you need to give your Ds more emphasis. Fads.
Nick: What I said.
Schmidt: You're gonna get yourself in trouble.
Nick: By hating fads?
Schmidt: That's... maybe just change it to "trendy" bars. Or "hip" bars.
Nick: We need to stop competing with trendy, hip fad bars?
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: Give us a chance to, first, apologize and, second, give you a little bit of context here. You see, [chuckles] we thought that you attacked our bar.
Connie: Why would I attack a bar that has no one in it? And if I did want to attack you, I would just report you for one of your numerous health code violations.
Schmidt: Some improvements definitely need to be made. We... we found a dead fox in the keg room the other week.
Nick: We're not sure it was a fox. Uh, it was an animal that had died in our keg room that was bigger than a cat but smaller than a big dog...
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Unbelievable. I had to park two blocks away, like an animal. The new bar, Presh, is doing valet and they took all of our spots.
Schmidt: I've been saying for months that we need valet. Is there anything sexier than tossing your keys in the general direction of someone you care nothing about? "Keep it running."