Schmidt Quote #1041
Jess: They want to make sure that we don't teach evolution. I'm an educator, so...
Gavin: Oh, you told me. I believe you had me pressed up against a cask of Merlot at the time.
Schmidt: [watching] [groans] He's a bottom?
Gavin: You want to give me the tour? Or should we just crack this open and make out?
Schmidt: What a line. Who is this clown?
New Girl Quotes
‘D-Day’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Are you okay? You look gray.
Schmidt: I didn't sleep. I was up preparing for an epic day of wedding decisions. I'm calling it D-Day. Of course, in this situation, the "D" stands for "decisions," and unlike the other D-Day, it will not be a walk on the beach.
Jess: That's incredibly offensive.
Schmidt: I know.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Ah. Jess, thank you. You know, I haven't had two hours of uninterrupted sleep since a month ago when Cece made me watch An Inconvenient Truth.
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey, guys. So, how did it go today?
Jess: Good. We got a lot accomplished. But, um... how do I say this? Um... I made out with Schmidt's dad.
Cece: [quietly] You did what?
Schmidt: She lulled me to sleep and then went rogue.
Cece: You did what?
Jess: If your files had been clearly marked, none of this would be happening. You need better labels.
Schmidt: Everything is perfectly clear. Chairs are color-coded under chartreuse, because it sounds like "chair truths." Salmon mongers are filed under fuchsia, because I "re-fuchsia" to serve salmon at this wedding. The groomsmen tuxes are under magenta, because "ma-gentlemen" will be wearing the dope tuxes.
Cece: Is he a good kisser?
Schmidt: Don't ask that, plea... And don't you answer it.
Cece: [stammers] It's withdrawn. I'm just freaking out right now.