Jess Quote #937
Jess: [on the phone] Now, what I'm about to say might shock you, but I need help getting out of jury duty. Look, I have the chance to be acting principal. You don't know Becky Cavatappi, but she's a murderer.
Schmidt: What?
Jess: She-she's not a murderer, but I... I really don't like her.
Winston: You can't just be going around throwing "murderer" on people.
New Girl Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Cece
Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.