Schmidt Quote #897
Quote from Schmidt in Spiderhunt
Schmidt: Fawn is coming over for a midnight fondue supper. There's no chocolate or cheese on this earth that makes a cube of bread pop like The Sauce.
Jess: Your girlfriend's coming over for the first time, and you asked Nick to cook?
Schmidt: True, normally food à la Nick would be less appealing to me than licking the floor of a beach bathroom. But I want Fawn to have the best, and The Sauce is the best.
Jess: Good for you-- when you said "Fawn" and then "fondue," I definitely thought you were headed in the direction of-- Step one: fondue. Step two: do Fawn.
Schmidt: That's not bad.
Coach: Yeah, and I was like, "Fondue is Fawn done." [snickers]
Schmidt: Th-These are all good.
New Girl Quotes
‘Spiderhunt’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Schmidt: Wait a minute, is your e-mail address OwwMeSoErnie@coolidge?
Winston: Still?
Coach: Yeah, man. Picked it in college. It's just gonna follow me from job to job, ISP to ISP. We've been everywhere together, brotha. Never done .org or a .gov. I would never do that.
Winston: Right.
Coach: But every other damn domain.
Schmidt: You can't e-mail a girl like May from an e-mail address like OwwMeSoErnie. Although, you did got a job at a school, so what do I know?
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: I can hear it. I can hear it building its house. Building its sticky, deadly house that you can never leave. Building it. With its ass.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Where is it? We've got to hunt it down. We got to have a spiderhunt.
Nick: We're not having one of those.
Coach: No, dude, no more spiderhunts.
Schmidt: Guys, they're all over me!
Jess: This is childish, and you need to get over it.
Schmidt: Jess, would you please? You know this fear comes from a very real place-- 1999. American Pie was sweeping the nation. And everybody was doing it with pies. I just happened to accidentally fall asleep right afterwards. And when I awoke, the dried apple filling was... it just had attracted so many spiders, and they were all over it, and I...