Schmidt Quote #880

Quote from Schmidt in Swuit

Schmidt: This is... this is your vision from start to finish.
Nick: I might be the seed, but you're the farmer.
Jess: Hey, you two look like you're really getting along.
Schmidt: Yeah, well, you know what, who wouldn't get along with this brave, masculine, healthy cowboy?
Jess: What you got there?
Schmidt: It's a camera attachment. That keeps the attention of your dog while you're taking its picture.
Jess: Oh.
Nick: Schmidt came up with a great title for it. It's called "Perfect Pet Pic." This is just a prototype that dumb-old me came up with. If he put it together, it'd be a lot better, I promise you that.
Schmidt: Now, of course, could-could you just hold some pet food in your other hand? Sure. But this is a lifestyle product.

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 ‘Swuit’ Quotes

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: And time! All right. Let's see what you got. "I am the Karduthian champion of... of dance." "Beer bread."
Nick: Beard bread. Bread that is in your beard.
Schmidt: That's an... that's an invention? Or is that just something that happens to you? You think Hewlett had to put up with this crap from Packard? Again.
Nick: Oh, now I'm Packard? Enough!
Schmidt: You can't come up with a good idea being all loosey-goosey.
Nick: Why don't you tell that to Howard Hughes, the inventor of the Loose Goose?
Schmidt: That was the Spruce Goose, and it didn't work!
Nick: It did work! It flew for over a mile at an altitude of 72 feet!
Schmidt: How on Earth do you know that information and not know the name of it?

Quote from Winston

Winston: Hey, check it out. I'm a campus cutie.
Cece: No, you are not.
Winston: What are we learning?
Cece: Shh! I am studying Postwar British Art History.
Coach: What?
Winston: Post Br-British who? What's that?
Coach: That's just a bunch of words that mean "Screw you, investors." What else you taking?
Cece: Intro to Afrikaans.
Coach: What else? Astronomy 101?
Cece: That's next semester.
Coach: Wow.
Winston: What you gonna do, Cece, join the South African space program and be the first woman to put a David Hockney painting on the moon? Who is David Hockney?

Quote from Winston

Coach: This is an investment. Nick and Schmidt are looking for investors, so we thought it would be fun if we got into investing, too.
Coach: You're smart, you're driven. We are confident in a very robust ROI.
Winston: ROI means "Return on Investment."
Cece: I know what it stands for.
Winston: I've been reading a lot of Schmidt's investment books in the toilet. Life hack: the toilet paper makes for a very, very handy bookmark.
Coach: Life hack: read your phone on the toilet like everybody else.
Winston: Ooh.