Schmidt Quote #870

Quote from Schmidt in Coming Out

Nurse: Your friend keeps forgetting his ulcer medication.
Nick: Ulcer medication?
Schmidt: He's lying, please.
Nurse: Take him home, make sure he does nothing all day.
Schmidt: Look, I'm not doing nothing all day. Can't take days off wor... My firm is wooing red potatoes, and I want that account. Don't listen to that aggressive male nurse. Wearing the same shoes as an old Russian woman. It's not an ulcer, he's ly... [yawps]
Nurse: Yeah, that's your ulcer telling you to stop being a dick.

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 ‘Coming Out’ Quotes

Quote from Winston

Winston: And I am never taking this crystal off. Well, I mean, except if I'm making a tomato sauce and the crystal keeps dipping in the tomato sauce. Then I'll take it off, and that's just being practical. I don't know too much about crystal care, but, oh, I intend to find out.

Quote from Coach

Coach: It's just the accent. That's the only thing you... You like the accent? I can do an accent. [Cockney accent:] I can do an accent. You like when I do this accent, eh? [high-pitched Cockney accent] You like when I do the accent?
Ruth: Not at all.
Coach: My dad makes cheese.
Ruth: He just made me realize that I want guys who have, like, frickin' feelings and stuff.
Coach: [normal voice] Yeah, well... But the boy looks like he was raised in a muffin.

Quote from Winston

Winston: You got girl troubles, get a crystal. Look, I'm telling you, Coach, women have been checking me out all day.
[flashback:]
Bartender: From the gentleman across the bar.
Woman: This is my favorite drink. How did he...?
Winston: Something powerful told me it was.
[present:]
Winston: Now, they gave me this crystal to help me on the streets, but I'm starting to think it's gonna help me in the sheets.
Coach: Winston, look at me. And I have never been more serious about anything in my life.
Winston: Okay.
Coach: Stop rhyming.
Winston: All the timing?