Jess Quote #785

Quote from Jess in LAXMas

Elf: [sings] Gingy, who did you harm? Gingy, who ate your arm?
Gingerbread Man: It was... Santa! [thunder rumbles]
Elf: No!
Ryan: This is pretty dark.
Elf: We will rescue you, Gingy!
Jess: [to Ryan] Wait till they get to the North Pole to avenge his death and take it way too far.
Elf: [sings] Santa's been a bad boy, and that's not right The white-bearded devil's gonna die tonight! [screaming]
Jess: But I'm proud of that. They worked really hard on it.

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Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.

‘Christmas Quotes’

Quote from Winston in Christmas Eve Eve

Winston: Let's see. KXHD136.
Schmidt: You memorized the package tracking number, but you didn't know that you could use that number to track the package?
Winston: What?! 9:18 A.M. refused delivery? Did you refuse a package to Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo?
Schmidt: Listen to what you just asked. Of course I did.
Winston: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it, Schmidt! I am Retired Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo! It is my Secret Santa alias.
Schmidt: Oh.
Winston: Yeah. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Quote from Schmidt in Santa

Schmidt: You would've been my nightmare. We were on very strict instructions from Rabbi Schmulie not to say a word until the last Christian kid found out about Santa Claus. Ruining Christmas, very bad for our brand.

 ‘LAXMas’ Quotes

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Cece: Okay.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.

Quote from Winston

Nick: You better learn how to ride a polo horse.
Winston: It's actually a polio horse. Uh, originally they were bred as helper horses for people with polio, but I don't think anything of what I just said was correct, so...

Quote from Nick

Nick: Why we should've taken trains. The sky's too fickle. It's the play place for butterflies.