Schmidt Quote #792
Schmidt: Now give me some stuff like it's the first day of school, right?
Coach: Okay.
Schmidt: That's right, and you got your backpack on. Yeah, there you go. But you packed your own lunch. But what you don't know is when you were making it, you got some mustard on your forehead. That's right. Now you're playing pictionary, okay? Now you're playing pictionary, and what do you... Ooh, now I got... Now I got my little card. What am I gonna draw? What am I gonna draw? You get sardines. They don't smell good. How do I draw a smell? How do I draw a smell? What does that look like? That's modeling. That's right.
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.