Jess Quote #716
Jess: Ugh. I'm so sorry, I know I don't know you, I know this is your booth, but, uh, my friends are really pissing me off. I'm just gonna sit here for like... [looks up] five minutes. Or maybe ten. 15 to 20 at the most. Probably an hour. They're super annoying to me.
Matt: Okay. Why are you mad at your friends?
Jess: They're so shallow. They're like... They say that they have a boob shape preference, but when the chips are down, they'll take anything.
Matt: So would it be bad if I told you that I think you're hot?
Jess: Shut your gross, beautiful face. No, I'd love it. Thank you.
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.