Nick Quote #718
Jess: Okay, if you saw me in the bar and I was a stranger, would you rule me out based on my breast size?
Nick: Absolutely not. Your breasts are perfect. Now, if I saw your wonky knee? That's a whole 'nother ballgame.
Jess: What w...
Schmidt: Wonky knee?
Coach: You have a wonky knee?
Jess: You think I have a wonky knee?
Nick: The left knee's perfect. Uh, but the right one's got some stuff.
Jess: Why?
Nick: Well, stuff. Um... oh, why do you think I always let you take your own pants off before sex?
Jess: Because you're the laziest person I've ever met.
New Girl Quotes
‘Micro’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey! Okay, so you guys are kind of bringing the bar vibe down, and I need tips, so... pretend that you're having fun or pay for me to go to college.
Schmidt: You know, if I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But, obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.
Cece: It did go fast, I'll give it that. [Coach snorts]
Schmidt: You know, when I look at that picture, I think to myself, "Is there a God? And if-if there is, did he run out of clay?"
Quote from Coach
Coach: Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio? I'm better wet, I'm better dry, my sexy baby is way more believable than his. Watch, look... mama change baby 'cause baby made a dirty...
Schmidt: Okay, mine is way more sexy. There are people lining up in the streets to have sex with my baby.
Coach: Liar!
Jess: I don't like this.
Coach: You can't use that photo, unless you're planning on posing for the tiny nipples of America foundation.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're one to talk, Little Miss Princess Waist!
Coach: Hey, I'm a 26! That's normal!
Nick: Yeah, in Asia.
Coach: Who's talking to you, depression-era garbage man? I've been holding that in for two years.