Schmidt Quote #769
Schmidt: Okay, Jess, how can I put this? You're the prize here. Okay? You are the last piece of pie, and all of these guys are the fat kids in the cafeteria, and I can say that because I used to be fat as a truck.
Jess: You really think I'm the last piece of pie?
Schmidt: Damn right you're the last piece of pie. You're the best girl on Dice, Jess. And who cares what these guys are feeling? You know, what do you feel? Jess, what do you want?
Jess: I'm the pie.
Schmidt: You're the pie.
Jess: I'm the pie.
Schmidt: Say it again.
Jess: I'm the pie.
Schmidt: Say it again.
Jess: I'm the pie.
Schmidt: There you go.
Jess: Who are you?
Schmidt: Never really thought about that.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.