Schmidt Quote #768

Quote from Schmidt in Dice

Schmidt: I took the liberty of writing down some exit lines, because obviously, you can't come up with any on your own. Here, take a look at those.
Jess: I've got hockey practice?
Schmidt: Sure.
Jess: My boss is trying to contact me about a project that could save the company.
Schmidt: Mm-hmm.
Jess: Schmidt, these are such obvious rejections. I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Schmidt: Hurt their feel... Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings?
Jess: Yeah. Don't you?
Schmidt: No. How do you get anything done?
Jess: It's hard.

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 ‘Dice’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.